5 Reasons Letting Go Is So Damn Difficult!

Wanting to have a more clear life starts by letting go of what no longer serves us. But why is it so difficult to let go in the first place?

You Are Still Living in the Past

Nostalgia can be a precious thing. Whether it’s a smell, an object or even a memory, these things tie us to what we once were. We almost hold on to things for the sole purpose of trying to preserve our memories.

Especially if it’s a physical object, it’s almost as if we keep these things with the fear of forgetting. We must remember the most powerful aspect of our memories are ourselves. Again, don’t let your objects hold so much credit.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but sentimental items are very difficult for me to declutter. Photographs, drawings or trinkets reminding myself of people I care about hold so much meaning to me. Especially, in the grieving process, I had to slowly change my perspective on objects. Even I must remind myself, the object is not the person. Hopefully by repeating this mantra in my head, I can let go of more sentimental things in the future.

You Feel Guilty Giving It Up

Maybe you have a pit in your stomach for purchasing something so expensive you never use. Or perhaps you were gifted something & although the gesture is always sweet, you just don’t use it. These feelings of guilt should not become a burden to your mind.

If you feel guilty over whether you should get rid of something, you should always be rid of that item. I don’t care what it is. But it’s no good to be holding on to such guilt either.

Fear of Needing it in the Future

This concept reminds me of everyone buying tons of toilet paper in the beginning of the pandemic. Fear & consumerism when tied together, create chaos. You can’t go walking around with the mindset of the world is ending or “I’ll never be able to find this again.” That’s when hoarding develops. And we really don’t want that.

This is why when shopping I don’t purchase just incase items or bulk items. To me, it just seems like a waste of space, money & product. Save some for the rest of us please.

What will People Think?

Oh my god, I don’t have another chair in my living room. What will people think when they have to sit on the floor.

Oh my god, I didn’t keep that dish my mother past down to me, what will she think of me now?

Oh my god, if I don’t own a toaster, people will think I’m crazy for not toasting my bread. 😂

We must not let other people determine the fate of our belongings

What we decide to hold onto versus what we decide to let go is our own decision. Don’t let things or people’s thoughts cause a burden to your life. You have so much more to live for.

It Hints You Were Wrong

Admitting you were wrong about something can be a hard pill to swallow. But it’s also extremely human & liberating. Maybe you were wrong about a certain style of clothing working for you. Or in a more deep sense, maybe a certain person in your life is wrong for you.

Whatever it may be, it’s ok to admit it wasn’t right & it’s healthy to finally let it go. Life is too short to be living with things & people that don’t serve you. And if anything else, these wrongdoings can be seen as lessons leading us to our correct path.

I truly hope these tips help you have more clarity with the idea of having a clutter free life. Comment down below what holds you back from letting go.

⁃ B 🌿

Is It Your Fantasy Self Talking?

A little below 30 degrees, wind & snow hitting my bare face as I look down the snowy mountain. Gripping my poles, I give myself a push & glide down effortlessly from side to side. I can barely see what’s in front of me. A white dusting is all that is visible. I close my eyes to brace the cold. I open them & I’m sitting in my living room, watching tv?

You see, in reality, I haven’t skied in 2 years. But my fantasy self thinks I’m a ski bunny who hits the slopes everyday.

Fantasy self is how you envision yourself becoming or wish to be. Many times, you rarely achieve being this person or you really don’t like being this person as much as you think.

Maybe you own over 100 novels displayed on shelves. Your fantasy self sees you as this book worm who plans to read a book every week while sipping coffee & planning to have an intellectual conversation about said novels . But in reality, you haven’t read any of those books & all that’s on them is a layer of dust.

Or maybe your fantasy self is a master cook who owns all the gadgets & prepares all these gourmet meals. But realistically, you only have time to plop a meal in the microwave.

Or you could be how I was with skiing. Thinking you are going to be on the mountain all the time. When my skis just sat in a basement closet for years collecting dust & rusting at the edges.

It’s important to understand the difference between your reality self & your fantasy self. Once I did this, I was able to let go of unnecessary things in my life. Like my skis.

Can Your Fantasy Self be Toxic?

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of items of your fantasy self because it may feel like you are giving up on your dream. But you really shouldn’t view it so negatively.

When you come to terms with the idea the fantasy self leads you to nowhere, you can focus on your true self instead.

Subconsciously, these items could be weighing you down & negatively affecting your wellbeing. You may think you want to be a certain way, but maybe it’s simply what you think you have to be based on what others believe. And this is where the unneeded clutter comes into play.

I can’t tell you how many random miscellaneous items I would keep just because I had these weird scenarios tied to the items. Once I learned I needed to declutter these items & had no actual need for them, a weight was lifted.

I realized when it came to skiing, I didn’t need to physically own the item because I didn’t go enough anymore. It’s almost like there was a part of me still holding on to what I was in my past. I had to teach myself that change is good & it was ok to let go. And if I do go in the near future, I can always rent. I’m not preventing myself to ski. I’m simply altering the reality of the situation.

By not giving into my fantasy self, I was able to save so much more money. And it’s funny how the fantasy items are always the expensive ones. Go figure.

It’s good to have aspirations & dreams for ourselves. Letting go of your fantasy self isn’t giving up. It’s letting free of what was not there in the first place. That yoga mat you never use because truthfully you hate yoga? Donate it to someone who will use it. Have clothing that isn’t your style? Let it go.

We have to start thinking realistically when bringing items & ideas into our lives. If we hold onto the unnecessary items, it could be clouding our true plans.

If you clutter your spaces with the things you fantasize about, you won’t have room for the things that would actually happen.

I was also this way with my clothing. There was this pink maxi dress with an open back & with flowers printed on it. It was gorgeous. I pictured myself on a tropical island wearing this dress while sipping a mai tia. The dress sat in my closet for a few years. The vacation never came. And then one day I decide to finally wear this dress to the beach & to my luck I find a giant rip down the side. I had to throw it away. I kept this dress for nothing! Haha!

My perspective has shifted. When I have a vacation booked, I shall buy dresses for that occasion. But buying a dress for trip I have planned in my head is no longer an option.

Like I said, it’s not denying yourself to wanting and wishing for things to happen in life. It’s being smarter with purchases & keeping your home & life clutter free.

Love the Person You Are

With fantasizing on what you wish you could be, you are not accepting & appreciating the person you already are. Instead of wishing you were something else, why not just embrace who you truly are? Quit doing & buying things just to impress others. Instead impress yourself! Glamorize the idea of the real you.

⁃ B 🌿

Make Your Home A Sanctuary

There I was, sitting in my new wooden outdoor chair, with a cold mason jar filled with sweet tea in my left hand, gazing out at our wooded backyard. “Ah this is the life”. All there is to hear are cicadas chirping in the distance, an indication summer is still upon us.

I love sitting out there. It gives me a sense of peace during such unprecedented times. Now, more than ever people are at home the majority of the time. With that, it’s important your space gives off a sense of reassurance & tranquility. Maybe you want to make a designated work space. Or want to transform your basement into a gym enthusiasts playground. Whatever it may be, make it your own.

Especially during quarantine, I found being outside very uplifting to my psyche. Just a simple walk around the neighborhood or sitting in my backyard changed my mood completely.

I remember taking a walk to the docks one afternoon, perched myself on a large rock & starred out at the creek in front of me. It was then, I was grateful to live somewhere with a view. Although it was not even a mile from my home, it was the change of scenery I was yearning for.

I feel as though people are learning the importance of getting out in nature more instead of looking at their phone all day. When the world is filled with negativity & uproar, sometimes you need to step away.

Occasionally, you have to turn the world off for a second & just take in your surroundings. In my last post, You Are Not Defined By Your Possessions, minimalism teaches us to focus on the moments & the simple pleasures in life.

Home Decor Finds:

We found this modern style patio set off Amazon. I love the light unstained wood finish mixed with black metal accents. When it rains, you can hear the droplets of water ping off the metal fixtures creating a peaceful ambiance.

I wanted a nice pop of color to go along with the minimalistic vibe of the table, so when we saw this blue umbrella from At Home, I snatched it up real quick.

https://www.athome.com/10-x-6.5-rectangular-umbrella-spa-blue/124243324.html

Of course, I love the shade it provides for us & the unique shape prevents it from draping over to our neighbor’s side.

We added this patterned rug to add some comfort & contrast from the wooded deck floor. And then, placed on the table we found these pineapple shaped citronella candles that come in handy & just adds a nice touch to the overall look.

https://www.athome.com/e198-prisma-ivory-border

https://www.target.com/p/pineapple-paradise-tabletop-white-tiki/-/A-53844375

From a House to a Home:

So far, this is my favorite part of our home. I can’t wait to host get togethers with family & friends (when it’s safe of course.) The vibe is incredibly inviting & made me fall in love with the outdoors again.

I’ve created meditative routines of spending a few hours getting lost in a good book or having my breakfast here. It really is the little things. 🌿

Would you like to see how I decorate other parts of my home? Leave a comment down below. ⬇️