Is It Your Fantasy Self Talking?

A little below 30 degrees, wind & snow hitting my bare face as I look down the snowy mountain. Gripping my poles, I give myself a push & glide down effortlessly from side to side. I can barely see what’s in front of me. A white dusting is all that is visible. I close my eyes to brace the cold. I open them & I’m sitting in my living room, watching tv?

You see, in reality, I haven’t skied in 2 years. But my fantasy self thinks I’m a ski bunny who hits the slopes everyday.

Fantasy self is how you envision yourself becoming or wish to be. Many times, you rarely achieve being this person or you really don’t like being this person as much as you think.

Maybe you own over 100 novels displayed on shelves. Your fantasy self sees you as this book worm who plans to read a book every week while sipping coffee & planning to have an intellectual conversation about said novels . But in reality, you haven’t read any of those books & all that’s on them is a layer of dust.

Or maybe your fantasy self is a master cook who owns all the gadgets & prepares all these gourmet meals. But realistically, you only have time to plop a meal in the microwave.

Or you could be how I was with skiing. Thinking you are going to be on the mountain all the time. When my skis just sat in a basement closet for years collecting dust & rusting at the edges.

It’s important to understand the difference between your reality self & your fantasy self. Once I did this, I was able to let go of unnecessary things in my life. Like my skis.

Can Your Fantasy Self be Toxic?

Sometimes it can be hard to let go of items of your fantasy self because it may feel like you are giving up on your dream. But you really shouldn’t view it so negatively.

When you come to terms with the idea the fantasy self leads you to nowhere, you can focus on your true self instead.

Subconsciously, these items could be weighing you down & negatively affecting your wellbeing. You may think you want to be a certain way, but maybe it’s simply what you think you have to be based on what others believe. And this is where the unneeded clutter comes into play.

I can’t tell you how many random miscellaneous items I would keep just because I had these weird scenarios tied to the items. Once I learned I needed to declutter these items & had no actual need for them, a weight was lifted.

I realized when it came to skiing, I didn’t need to physically own the item because I didn’t go enough anymore. It’s almost like there was a part of me still holding on to what I was in my past. I had to teach myself that change is good & it was ok to let go. And if I do go in the near future, I can always rent. I’m not preventing myself to ski. I’m simply altering the reality of the situation.

By not giving into my fantasy self, I was able to save so much more money. And it’s funny how the fantasy items are always the expensive ones. Go figure.

It’s good to have aspirations & dreams for ourselves. Letting go of your fantasy self isn’t giving up. It’s letting free of what was not there in the first place. That yoga mat you never use because truthfully you hate yoga? Donate it to someone who will use it. Have clothing that isn’t your style? Let it go.

We have to start thinking realistically when bringing items & ideas into our lives. If we hold onto the unnecessary items, it could be clouding our true plans.

If you clutter your spaces with the things you fantasize about, you won’t have room for the things that would actually happen.

I was also this way with my clothing. There was this pink maxi dress with an open back & with flowers printed on it. It was gorgeous. I pictured myself on a tropical island wearing this dress while sipping a mai tia. The dress sat in my closet for a few years. The vacation never came. And then one day I decide to finally wear this dress to the beach & to my luck I find a giant rip down the side. I had to throw it away. I kept this dress for nothing! Haha!

My perspective has shifted. When I have a vacation booked, I shall buy dresses for that occasion. But buying a dress for trip I have planned in my head is no longer an option.

Like I said, it’s not denying yourself to wanting and wishing for things to happen in life. It’s being smarter with purchases & keeping your home & life clutter free.

Love the Person You Are

With fantasizing on what you wish you could be, you are not accepting & appreciating the person you already are. Instead of wishing you were something else, why not just embrace who you truly are? Quit doing & buying things just to impress others. Instead impress yourself! Glamorize the idea of the real you.

⁃ B 🌿

Make Your Home A Sanctuary

There I was, sitting in my new wooden outdoor chair, with a cold mason jar filled with sweet tea in my left hand, gazing out at our wooded backyard. “Ah this is the life”. All there is to hear are cicadas chirping in the distance, an indication summer is still upon us.

I love sitting out there. It gives me a sense of peace during such unprecedented times. Now, more than ever people are at home the majority of the time. With that, it’s important your space gives off a sense of reassurance & tranquility. Maybe you want to make a designated work space. Or want to transform your basement into a gym enthusiasts playground. Whatever it may be, make it your own.

Especially during quarantine, I found being outside very uplifting to my psyche. Just a simple walk around the neighborhood or sitting in my backyard changed my mood completely.

I remember taking a walk to the docks one afternoon, perched myself on a large rock & starred out at the creek in front of me. It was then, I was grateful to live somewhere with a view. Although it was not even a mile from my home, it was the change of scenery I was yearning for.

I feel as though people are learning the importance of getting out in nature more instead of looking at their phone all day. When the world is filled with negativity & uproar, sometimes you need to step away.

Occasionally, you have to turn the world off for a second & just take in your surroundings. In my last post, You Are Not Defined By Your Possessions, minimalism teaches us to focus on the moments & the simple pleasures in life.

Home Decor Finds:

We found this modern style patio set off Amazon. I love the light unstained wood finish mixed with black metal accents. When it rains, you can hear the droplets of water ping off the metal fixtures creating a peaceful ambiance.

I wanted a nice pop of color to go along with the minimalistic vibe of the table, so when we saw this blue umbrella from At Home, I snatched it up real quick.

Of course, I love the shade it provides for us & the unique shape prevents it from draping over to our neighbor’s side.

We added this patterned rug to add some comfort & contrast from the wooded deck floor. And then, placed on the table we found these pineapple shaped citronella candles that come in handy & just adds a nice touch to the overall look.

From a House to a Home:

So far, this is my favorite part of our home. I can’t wait to host get togethers with family & friends (when it’s safe of course.) The vibe is incredibly inviting & made me fall in love with the outdoors again.

I’ve created meditative routines of spending a few hours getting lost in a good book or having my breakfast here. It really is the little things. 🌿

Would you like to see how I decorate other parts of my home? Leave a comment down below. ⬇️

You Are Not Defined By Your Possessions

Something I learned during quarantine, is I don’t need a whole lot to be happy. And it got me thinking, if everything was stripped from you, who would you be as a person?

Society teaches us success derives from our outward appearance. Where we live, what career we pursue, the clothes we wear, & the car we drive; all of which define who we are as a person. With money, you are able to buy your way to success, self worth & confidence. Minimalism takes those societal expectations and rejects them.

We tend to think, without certain things we are unable to be successful or happy. But why let objects define who you are or rather who you aren’t?

The human mind can be fragile at times. Our actions tend to be driven from our emotional state. Whether we are happy, sad, angry or just really confused, we combat those feelings through action.

And unfortunately, advertising companies thrive on people’s emotions. “If you buy this blazer, you will gain the confidence to ace that job interview!” And although you convince yourself that blazer was what got you that job, I find giving credit to an object is a disservice to yourself.

YOU got that job because YOU were what the hiring manger noticed. NOT the outfit you were wearing. Give more credit to yourself.

Your emotional state can also encourage those impulse purchases. Feeling sad? Here’s something to fix it! When in reality those are merely distractions to your feelings which may seem easier to deal with at the time. But in reality, it’s fear that’s encouraging that thinking. Fear of not being enough without said item.

Instead, the next time you feel an impulse to pursue an action, take a step back, breathe & don’t do anything. [This is why I love meditation]. Especially in a world that is so “go go go” & in need of instant replies, it’s important to slow down sometimes. When you are pushed to take an action based off an emotion, first determine what that feeling is referring to. “Why was I feeling this way?” & “Why do I need to do this to fix it?” Although some distractions are good & overthinking is not, there becomes a problem when you are never checking in on yourself and your feelings. It’s a balancing act.

By taking away the value of objects, I was able to see myself more clearly. Instead of pushing away my emotions, I met them with full force. Instead of thinking life was after me, I realized I just needed to change my perspective. I learned I couldn’t hide in stuff any longer. I had to face those obstacles head on & accept myself for who I truly am. By downsizing, I’ve learned to do without certain things & be ok with it. I can better understand myself & what I want to achieve once I did away with the distractions. I ask myself, “what will make you happy?” Instead of asking “what would other people want me to do?” I have a better sense of gratitude for what I do have. The things I hold dear are what you can’t buy.

And when life strips you of too many familiarities like Covid19 has done, maybe it’s better to stop, breathe, & appreciate the little things.

During quarantine, I read more books, I learned how to cook more, spent more time in nature, & dove into deep conversations with loved ones. By changing our perspective & decreasing our attention from materialism, we can better accept the new reality & enjoy the simple things life has for us. 🌿

Wanna learn more about my journey to minimalism? Click here ⬇️

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