A little below 30 degrees, wind & snow hitting my bare face as I look down the snowy mountain. Gripping my poles, I give myself a push & glide down effortlessly from side to side. I can barely see what’s in front of me. A white dusting is all that is visible. I close my eyes to brace the cold. I open them & I’m sitting in my living room, watching tv?
You see, in reality, I haven’t skied in 2 years. But my fantasy self thinks I’m a ski bunny who hits the slopes everyday.
Fantasy self is how you envision yourself becoming or wish to be. Many times, you rarely achieve being this person or you really don’t like being this person as much as you think.
Maybe you own over 100 novels displayed on shelves. Your fantasy self sees you as this book worm who plans to read a book every week while sipping coffee & planning to have an intellectual conversation about said novels . But in reality, you haven’t read any of those books & all that’s on them is a layer of dust.
Or maybe your fantasy self is a master cook who owns all the gadgets & prepares all these gourmet meals. But realistically, you only have time to plop a meal in the microwave.
Or you could be how I was with skiing. Thinking you are going to be on the mountain all the time. When my skis just sat in a basement closet for years collecting dust & rusting at the edges.
It’s important to understand the difference between your reality self & your fantasy self. Once I did this, I was able to let go of unnecessary things in my life. Like my skis.
Can Your Fantasy Self be Toxic?
Sometimes it can be hard to let go of items of your fantasy self because it may feel like you are giving up on your dream. But you really shouldn’t view it so negatively.
When you come to terms with the idea the fantasy self leads you to nowhere, you can focus on your true self instead.
Subconsciously, these items could be weighing you down & negatively affecting your wellbeing. You may think you want to be a certain way, but maybe it’s simply what you think you have to be based on what others believe. And this is where the unneeded clutter comes into play.
I can’t tell you how many random miscellaneous items I would keep just because I had these weird scenarios tied to the items. Once I learned I needed to declutter these items & had no actual need for them, a weight was lifted.
I realized when it came to skiing, I didn’t need to physically own the item because I didn’t go enough anymore. It’s almost like there was a part of me still holding on to what I was in my past. I had to teach myself that change is good & it was ok to let go. And if I do go in the near future, I can always rent. I’m not preventing myself to ski. I’m simply altering the reality of the situation.
By not giving into my fantasy self, I was able to save so much more money. And it’s funny how the fantasy items are always the expensive ones. Go figure.
It’s good to have aspirations & dreams for ourselves. Letting go of your fantasy self isn’t giving up. It’s letting free of what was not there in the first place. That yoga mat you never use because truthfully you hate yoga? Donate it to someone who will use it. Have clothing that isn’t your style? Let it go.
We have to start thinking realistically when bringing items & ideas into our lives. If we hold onto the unnecessary items, it could be clouding our true plans.
If you clutter your spaces with the things you fantasize about, you won’t have room for the things that would actually happen.
I was also this way with my clothing. There was this pink maxi dress with an open back & with flowers printed on it. It was gorgeous. I pictured myself on a tropical island wearing this dress while sipping a mai tia. The dress sat in my closet for a few years. The vacation never came. And then one day I decide to finally wear this dress to the beach & to my luck I find a giant rip down the side. I had to throw it away. I kept this dress for nothing! Haha!
My perspective has shifted. When I have a vacation booked, I shall buy dresses for that occasion. But buying a dress for trip I have planned in my head is no longer an option.
Like I said, it’s not denying yourself to wanting and wishing for things to happen in life. It’s being smarter with purchases & keeping your home & life clutter free.
Love the Person You Are
With fantasizing on what you wish you could be, you are not accepting & appreciating the person you already are. Instead of wishing you were something else, why not just embrace who you truly are? Quit doing & buying things just to impress others. Instead impress yourself! Glamorize the idea of the real you.
⁃ B 🌿