Isolation Taught Me Who My True Friends Are

It’s safe to say we’ve all had to spend a lot of time with just ourselves this past year & a half. To quote Olivia Lucie Blake in one of her recent blog posts, being a fellow introverted – extrovert, it has been a rather thriving era for myself. I’ve been reflecting, manifesting & just simply setting my priorities straight for once. I’ve been shedding what no longer serves me & will keep me moving forward to a better future – – & this includes people. 

My Energy Is Precious & There’s No Room For Vampires 

I’ve talked about how I have empathic tendencies. I think we all are empaths to some degree & with that, we have to set clear boundaries for our wellbeing. This sometimes means you have to let go of the soul suckers or “emotional vampires” to truly be free of the negativity. Life is too damn short to surround ourselves with people who constantly bring us down or don’t show equal appreciation. That’s wasted energy on your part & we need to understand to be meaningful on who gets to enjoy said energy. 

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We Don’t Let Go To Be Spiteful But Instead To Be Better 

I think friendships either come to us for a reason, a season or a lifetime. So, when it’s time for a friendship to end, I rarely have ill will towards said person. I’m always grateful for the time spent because at one point I needed or wanted that companionship. Sometimes it’s simply a gradual change. We all evolve as individuals & with that alter our beliefs & values which then, can affect the connections we have with others. It’s natural to have the occasional falling out & eventually you’ll find other people to replace those spots. For instance, during isolation, not even distance kept me away from staying connected to the ones who mattered the most. It has been a true test on who my true friends really are. I can count my true friends on one hand & I’m really proud of that.

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Be Your Own Best Friend First Above All Else

I’ve always been told to love yourself first before anyone else & be content with alone time. Like I said, I’ve been  a natural at this for most of my life. But I also have moments where I want connections (the right ones) & sometimes it’s been slim pickings. I’m very content, especially after quarantine to prioritize my family & my relationship. My brother for instance is one of my best friends. So, I truly feel fulfilled with just that. I think when you become so empowered by yourself you see life in a much stronger way. Plus, the older you get the less time you have for petty bullshit. There are far greater things to focus on than drama. 

The People You Think Are Keepers Are Actually Nothing Close To It

I’ve had the bad habit of holding onto connections way past the expiration date. I’m a rather sentimental person & cling to memories rather hard. And sometimes those memories need to be not necessarily forgotten, but placed on the shelf & left alone. Or they need to be properly thrown out. Sometimes what we think was a good friendship or a healthy relationship was anything but that. If at any point you feel stuck, worthless, unappreciated or just down right unhappy around said people, that’s your sign to cut them out. I hold onto what a person once was or the memories we had even if they aren’t at all this way in the present day. I’ve learned to accept the fact that some friendships change & some need to be pushed aside so new ones can take their place. This is important for any form of growth & continuation to the future. And like a bad breakup, sometimes you need to rip the bandaid & move on.

Online Connections Are True Connections, I Promise You

Blogging has given me so much to be grateful for. To have found a group of individuals from different places around the world that share a similar love for writing has been the best thing ever during such isolating times. Although you are strangers in a lot of ways & I was hesitant at first to connect too hard with my audience, I have let my walls down. And with that, I’ve made incredible connections with such talented & creative souls. Thank you for your constant support, appreciation & encouragement. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you all. 

Have your friendships changed during isolation?

61 thoughts on “Isolation Taught Me Who My True Friends Are

  1. Lovely post B as always 💕 I loved the point about being your own best friend first everyone else. My friendships have not changed over isolation they have stayed the same. I have also been taught by everyone to love myself above everyone else 💕💗

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  2. Oh Brittany you SNAPPED with this post. So relatable. We always talk about purging the junk in our homes, in those drawers we shove all the crap. But we often forget to purge the people who no longer serve a purpose in our lives.

    I had a best friend before this pandemic. We spent everyday together, talked all the time. As soon as we went into lockdown, I haven’t seen her once. We hardly talk. And thats okay. life naturally filters out those people who no longer serve a purpose in our lives.

    Thanks for sharing this. And thanks for the shoutout 🙌🏼💕

    Olivia | https://olivialucieblake.com

    Liked by 8 people

  3. Great post! I’m such an all in person when it comes to my relationships in life that I honestly don’t have too many friends at all anymore! I’m comfortable with my place in life and being alone + my own best friend doesn’t bother me and I actually prefer my own company! Thanks for sharing x

    Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wow, you echoed many of the thoughts I have been having recently. I read this post at the perfect time because lately, I have been wondering if we naturally gravitate away from friends as we get older. It is challenging, but maybe it is necessary since we have other aspects to focus on and responsibilities to juggle. Friends are still important, of course, however, real friendships can withstand distance as people get busy. Not everyone is meant to stay forever and that is okay. It makes room for quality people who are genuinely meant to be here. Connecting with the Writing Community on Twitter has been a huge help to me and has allowed me to meet genuine friends. As thankful as I am for that, it can be difficult not to think about all of the real-life friends who are no longer in my life. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason though, which means that losing them was for the better for some reason. Great post!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. i have had the same best friend since kindergarten. we have endured distance & going years without actually seeing each other but the friendship remains and when we do see each other it’s as if no time has passed. i have had friends in college that have become busy with work or other things and we just drifted a part. i think as you get older your priorities change. some of mine are becoming parents now too. so, they always shift some. i found as i’m getting older, i focus on my relationship and making that into a family.
      i agree, the writing community has been a huge sense of connection. you’ll meet new people who really add to your life eventually. 🙂

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  5. I really needed this reminder this morning about letting go of old friends that don’t jive with your life any more. I have been agonizing over one such friendship and you’re right: it’s just not serving me any more to stay connected. So thank you for helping me to let go.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Resonates with me so well! I am definitely a person who needs to have social connections to thrive and I’ve learned through blogging just tell amazing a trust for people in this community can be. It’s exhausting to reach out to people who clearly don’t want anything to do with you, That’s why I am careful with the energy that allow people to bring around me.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. This is beautiful. I’ve been able to know who my true friends are during the pandemic. And through my divorce during the pandemic 😩 As a rule of thumb, they’re the ones running towards me when everyone else is running away or closing doors. They appreciate me as a person and enjoy giving as I enjoy giving back. I see the vampires now 😔 Thank you for this 😊 your blog is purty kewl 🤓

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Relatable, some friends are around for a chapter or so and not the whole book and that is fine. I stepped back from social media and that showed me real friends, those that are 50/50 and not taking advantage of my empathetic heart.

    Lovely relatable read. New follower!

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Such a relatable post! There’s been a few times in recent years where I was overwhelmed with things going on in my life. When I stopped going out of my way to make plans or even send a simple text to certain people, it became very clear which people actually cared about me. It’s not easy to admit, even if you expect it to happen, but it does mean that you have more time to spend on the relationships that really do matter. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 4 people

  10. This is so true. Unfortunately for me I have struggled with friendship in real life compared to online. I always felt like I would have to call the person, always make sure they were okay, the people would always just want to talk about themselves. I have maybe two people not in real life that I am still friends with and I am cautious of who I let in. This post is so relatable. Since I have started blogging I have had many people be so kind and supportive and I really appreciate it. Thank you Brittany for writing this.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. There is an odd coincidence in my life once I graduate and the pandemic happened. Experiencing both at once makes me realize that I simply do not have the energy to serve everyone equally. That’s why I sort of have a pyramid of friendships where there are people whom I speak to regularly than others. And it helps. 🐾

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Great post! I’m an empath as well and have to maintain strong boundaries, which can be challenging because I also have a difficult time letting go. During the pandemic I’ve been forced to really look at what and who I let into my life. I don’t want to welcome negativity in anymore.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. WOW this post is right on the spot. I couldn’t agree more with isolation putting friendships in challenging situations and seeing who finds a way to go through the challenge with you. I agree with holding onto people sometime longer than we should, I think it’s just I try to find the good in most people. Thanks for this post, super helpful and informative!

    Liked by 3 people

  14. I love this post so much. You usually talk about decluttering stuff and this is kind of the same thing but with people. This is truly amazing. I couldn’t agree more on the online friendships. Every since I have started blogging, I made so many new friends, it is incredible. Honestly, I thought it was normal concerning the networking that we must do. I have always consider it a must but after reading this post, I realized that simply connecting with people and becoming actual friends with them online is a total different thing. I have met so many amazing bloggers and I am just so thankful for that. Thank you for giving me this reminder.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. You raise good points about how friendships change. My own friendships haven’t changed during isolation, but my life certainly has and maybe that has impacted friendships more than anything else. I do hope that once we get back to normal I can still get together with friends the way I used to despite these changes.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I can relate to this “cling to memories”. I have realised over the years I really want to hold onto everything I have created with my friends and when those connections would fade, I would force it to stay the way it was. This pandemic has been a real eye opener. Sometimes you just got to let go and be grateful for the memories you have made rather than clinging into something that wouldn’t last.

    I really enjoyed reading this🌼 xx

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Great post! My friendships have actually stayed the same, we are all relatively young moms with busy lives and jobs so it was hard pre covid to keep up with the hang outs so we were all very used to chatting often and throughout the day on WhatsApp… Thankfully! 🎉

    Liked by 3 people

  18. I definitely agree with what you said above! Honestly my friendships didn’t really change. As an introvert and empath and homebody, I rarely saw friends, maybe once every few months. I only went to work and hung out with colleagues once in a while. I have a few close friends which I prefer because my time and energy is important, which I prefer spending time alone rather than seeing people. Plus I’m always tired 😅 so I feel like friendships didn’t change for me, my real ones are still in my life! 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I live in Japan. My family is in America. I still remember the notice from the US Embassy telling us that, as Japan closed its borders in an (poor) effort to curtail COVID, US citizens (among others – it’s not just us) would have to face being grounded. This absence of family has left me to depend on my friends more and more, and yes — the folks I thought were my friends have been stripped away to leave me with a handful of true pals.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. BRITTANY. Sometimes when I read your posts it feels like you crawled straight into my brain and managed to find words for all the incoherent thoughts that were spinning around in my brain. Thank you for this post, I’m so glad I’m not the only one that has felt this way over the past year.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I think sometimes we confuse acquaintances/casual friends with real, true, lifelong friends. As you mentioned you can count your friends on one hand. To count the other type you would probably need abacus. My casual friends (workmates, etc) are off doing their own thing trying to survive Covid19 and reduced work hours. My blogher friends stay in touch daily; my lifelong friends are always near via texting or email a d o ce i. A while

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Oops…I hit the send key too quick. My Parkinson’s has my thumbs flying like crazy – couldn’t catch the mistake to fix it. It should say ” via a phone call”.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Posts on this topic tend to be pretty harsh, even spiteful, but I think you’ve struck just the right tone here. Stepping away from relationships isn’t about being angry, or being better than others who “don’t deserve” to be part of your life, it’s about loving yourself, and respectfully doing what’s best for you. This feels so healthy, and warm, and you really lit me up about the positive side of building a tight, intimate inner circle. Not just the double negative of removing people that bring you down.

    Liked by 1 person

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