Why I Broke Up With My Fantasy Self

A little below 30 degrees, wind & snow hitting my bare face as I look down the snowy mountain. Gripping my poles, I give myself a push & glide down effortlessly from side to side. I can barely see what’s in front of me. A white dusting is all that is visible. I close my eyes to brace the cold. I open them & I’m sitting in my living room, watching tv? You see, in reality, I haven’t skied in 3 years. But my fantasy self thinks I’m a ski bunny who hits the slopes everyday. The dust accumulating on my gear in my parent’s basement closet says otherwise.

WHAT IS YOUR FANTASY SELF?

Fantasy Self: the way you envision yourself or rather how you wish others perceive you.

Lets say, you own all of these fancy cooking gadgets because you see yourself hosting tons of dinner parties & believe you will be the next Rachael Ray. In reality, the microwave is your best friend.

Or you own this beautiful library filled with books. You see yourself as this sophisticated individual who sits in a lounge chair, novel & coffee in hand, gazing out your picturesque scene of a window. But really, you haven’t read any of them & they are simply collecting dust.

For me, it was my ski gear. I learned to ski when I was 9 years old & we went to the mountains almost every weekend as a kid. I finally bought my own set of skis & accessories in 2010 & I thought I was the coolest person ever. But as I got older, I became tired of it. I remember riding the chair lift when it was 6 degrees windchill & I thought to myself, “how is this fun?” Not to mention, walking in ski boots is a bitch. But I liked telling people I ski. There was a sense of pride that came with it.

I think we tend to fear change. We hold onto our past so tightly because if we let it go, we lose a part of ourselves. Selling my skis was a big step for me. I had to remind myself, although the material items are gone, my talent is still with me. And it’s not that I will never ski again. But there was no sense in keeping outdated gear if I wasn’t going to hit the slopes anytime soon. Plus, hauling them to my new home seemed like a lot of work. I’d much rather rent my gear if I ever decide to take a spontaneous trip to the mountains.

You have to remember, material items can always be replaced (for the most part). If I ever feel the urge to ski more often, I can always purchase new ones. Not to mention in my case, the gear I owned probably needed updated regardless. So, I was filling space for no reason essentially.

I’m sure a lot of you own items in your home that haven’t been used in years. Craft supplies from a hobby you thought you’d get into, sports you played in the past but will no longer use or even special workout gear that was supposed to entice you to get active. But you’re still sitting on the couch. And you know what? It’s ok. It’s ok you aren’t that person you created in your mind. If anything, you are just blocking yourself from your true potential.

When we place so much importance on our physical belongings, we slowly lose the connections with people & what’s surrounding us. Instead, it’s crucial to live in the moment more & not let our appearance dictate the experience.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t dream or have aspirations of who you want to be in the future. Having goals & milestones help us move forward. Trying new things is a way to evolve as an individual. But sometimes that fantasy side to you can be rather exaggerated. Seeing the world in rose colored glasses can be enlightening but it can also stunk us from reality.

There’s a difference between your fantasy self & your fearless self. While the fantasy of owning certain material items seems to be changing you as a person, always remember your possessions NEVER define who you are. You need to walk fearlessly through your life & seek experiences that get you out of your comfort zone instead. That’s what truly will make a difference.

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29 thoughts on “Why I Broke Up With My Fantasy Self

  1. Great post. It is very hard at times to let go of things, I decided to let of things because of time constraints or no interest. After that, it made me feel good to get rid of things that are not present in my life for now. I did not know there was a word for it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you! i didn’t know there was a word for it until i read up on minimalism & other videos on it. people started bringing up the concept of fantasy self and i was like huh…that’s interesting

      Like

  2. What an interesting concept! I think of my fantasy self as an ideal version of me i.e. successful and strong woman with a steady career. And yet when I take a step back, maybe I am already that person, who is in the midst of creating a better life.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I found this post to be so fascinating. I am the kind of person you described- I fear change and as a result, I cling to the past. That can mean holding onto items I no longer need, just to have a reminder of the experiences, but I love the point you made about how experiences can live on without them. Your writing here is amazing!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. thanks girl! change can def be a scary thing but i’ve always found it to be the push i needed to grow as an individual. and yes, we don’t need to always have those material items as a memory. the memory is always with us in our minds.

      Like

  4. What an interesting concept! I became my fantasy self when I stopped trying to be like everyone else. I just didn’t realise that the path I was taking was actually the best one already!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You’re quite right! I’m trying to break up with the fantasy version of myself too, but it’s not a linear journey. Some days I believe I can do 10, 15 and 20 things then hate myself for only doing 2. other times I accept my frailties and end up doing even better, just based on the shift in mindset.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This was a really good read. As we go through each different stage in our lives it can be hard to let go of an old part of us. Once you do it though you can more fully become the new you.

    Liked by 2 people

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