Brews & Babbles Ep. 2: Feeling Lost in Your 20’s

“Hey Bee, I’d like to know what inspires you in life. What sets your soul on fire? I feel lost & I’m unsure what my purpose is supposed to be. I’m in my early 20’s & I feel like I should have it figured out by now.”

Hello “Young & Lost” ,

You are not alone.I know it may feel like you are. Actually, plenty of people have been or are dealing with these same feelings right now, especially in this pandemic stricken world. They just don’t openly talk about it. Like my whole furloughed situation that turned into a complete layoff. YAY!!! Society teaches us to put up this front where we tell people we are fine when really we are struggling. Social media is a huge culprit of this because people would rather share their highlight reels than the reality of any situation. And believe me, I’m definitely someone who prefers to see the glass half full in most instances, but it can become disheartening when you feel like you are the only one going through it. But I’m here to tell you, behind those “perfect feeds” are individuals dealing with the same feelings & struggles as you.

When I was in my early 20’s, life was rough. In college, my educational path changed so often I thought I never would finish. I chose a direction that made sense to the rest of world but didn’t set my soul on fire like you said. It wasn’t that I didn’t have an interest in psychology. I love helping people understand other perspectives. The diagnosis part just wasn’t my thing. I just should have stayed with journalism. My passion has always been writing. I love sharing my thoughts & perspectives. But in no way am I regretful for the degree I earned. This was something I wanted at the time. And like most humans, I evolved. My interests changed. Or rather, I stopped listening to the opinions of others & followed my heart. The main thing to remember though is I don’t think we ever figure it all out. I think the purpose of life is to continue to grow, find new interests to add to the old ones & develop into an individual with layers.

A huge reason I felt extremely lost was I had the mindset of pleasing other people, following the crowd & always wanting more. Part of the reason I became a minimalist was to gain a clearer mind. Once you let go of the unnecessary & all the useless stuff around you, you can properly visualize your purpose. I thought success was this black & white path with no grey area. I didn’t understand that it can be defined however I see fit. And once I let go of those strict expectations brought on by society, I was no longer lost.

Also I don’t think age has anything to do with it. Sure, we become wiser through experience. But I think life will always throw you different obstacles. Each chapter of life will have its moments. It’s how you react to those situations is what makes all the difference. The biggest change was my mindset shift. Instead of waking up worried about the future & meeting certain milestones when you are “supposed to”. Everyone has a different path. And that path goes at the speed that’s needed for each person. This doesn’t mean one direction is better or more successful than the other. It’s just different. I think we all (me included) need to learn to just live. I personally believe most people spend their days focused on “getting there”. Once you hit one milestone, there’s always one trailing right behind you. And what truly makes it worse are the pressures of other people. I for one am sick of people thinking they run my life. And no, I’m not talking about advice. I’m talking about the individuals questioning everything & making judgements when it’s unnecessary.

“Why aren’t you engaged?”

“When are you getting married?”

“Why did you pick that career?”

“Don’t you want to make more money?”

“Why don’t you have kids?”

“Why don’t you have MORE kids?”

“Why are you tired?”

“Why are you working?”

“Why aren’t you staying home with the kids?”

“Why did you choose to be a stay at home mom?”

“Why are you always so busy?”

“Why aren’t you busy enough?”

SERIOUSLY!

This shit needs to stop. Or rather, the reactions to these questions need to be altered. Life is this way. People are curious beings & nosy. Instead of getting upset or angry & start questioning your life choices, just breath. And tell yourself everything will work out as it should when it should when it’s right for YOU.

I asked people on Twitter what advice they would give someone in their 20’s who is lost. Here are some of the inspiring responses:

These replies even opened my eyes to the questionable feelings of turning 30 this year. I hate the feeling of “once you are this age your life is over.” When in reality, there are so many wonderful things to still happen to all of us. I truly hope this post makes you feel enlightened & better about figuring your life out. Remember, we are all in this together. *Que the high school musical theme song* Let me know in the comments your experiences with quarter life crisis or feeling lost. I’d love to keep the conversation going.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

38 thoughts on “Brews & Babbles Ep. 2: Feeling Lost in Your 20’s

  1. I agree that the 20s are for figuring out life but there’s also a great deal of pressure as well as insecurity if you are behind where you want to be or behind your peers. My 20s were the hardest parts of my life so far and I wouldnt want to experience it again…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I 100% can relate to this post. As bad as this may sound, I feel lost a lot of the time. Baring in mind I’m a mum to one and expecting my second, but personally I think that because everyday is basically the same boring routine to the point I feel like I’m sometimes in a rut, I do feel lost, like I want more from life, if that makes sense. My children are my everything, but sometimes everyone else’s lives just seem so much more exciting lol thank you so much for this post, it’s nice to know there’s people who can relate to the ‘lost feeling’ no matter what walk of life they come from.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i’m sorry you feel this way. being a mother is a huge responsibility & I totally understand how you feel. it’s important to have your own hobbies & life away from it all. i’m sure you will find that balance. in the meantime, enjoy your time & phase you are in right now. and never compare yourself to others. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your reply. That’s the reason why I’ve started up my blog, to try and get more balance and start it as a hobby. I wouldn’t change being a mother for the world, but as everyone knows it can be challenging

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s nice to know that other people are experiencing similar things to me, as it makes you feel less alone. I love your inclusion of Tweets, as it makes it feel like a community of people. I hate the constant questions about my choices, even though I’ve made my path clear. I wish people would stop questioning the actions of others, especially with the points you specified. I also hate when you state your choice, and people respond with ‘why’, ‘are you sure that’s a good option?’ 🙄

    I still feel like I have a lot of pressure to accomplish all the milestones someone is ‘expected’ to achieve in their twenties. But, I am on my own path, so I can set a timeframe for my own milestones.

    Thank you for sharing another amazing post! It is nice to know that I’m not alone. 😊💜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree, before when I was like 15, I also wondered why people in their early twenties make lots of changes in their decisions (even when I think it’s not a big of a deal) but now I’m in their place, I know now. It can be daunting, because you know you’re always one step away from changing your entire life (and it can be a good or bad thing). Great post and discussions! Thank you for including my tweet! Much appreciated.

    http://www.lifebeginsattwenty.com

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The twenties are just the beginning of our adult life and we all feel confused about our future careers. I started on one path in university and then completely changed my major half way through. Then I went out into the world and worked and traveled . It took a few more years to find an employment opportunity that seemed promising. Often, it’s through a chance encounter that you find work, relationships and friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am still at this stage where I am figuring myself out. It is honestly not a good place to be at. I wish I knew some things earlier and I am still learning other things now. I know I am not the only one feeling this way but it is honestly so hard to get past it. I can relate to this so much and the fact that we are getting older is certainly not helping. Being in your twenties or thirties, you can experience a lot of different things (good and bad) but it is important that we learn form those to better our lives and make good decisions for a better future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i can totally understand your feelings. i was the same way wanting to go back in time and fix things or do things differently. i think the important thing to do is change the here and now & know we all are going to make mistakes or do things we “regret” but we can’t let ourselves feel down about that. we just have to keep moving forward. 🙂

      Like

  7. Great post. I agree your 20s are all about finding out what you want as well as making mistakes. Its the decade where you are shaping your life and working out what you’d like to achieve. We all have our own ideas and do things at our own pace and that is perfectly fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ah, the 20s. I remember those days lol. Honestly, nothing ever seems to make sense in your 20s. This is a time where you will find your life purpose multiple times. You will make endless mistakes. You wonder aimlessly when you will have it “all figured out.” My 20s were brutal. I changed my major so many times. I was in toxic relationships. I moved to multiple states only to end up back where I started but I wouldn’t change any of that for the world. They were necessary lessons and instill the wisdom within me that I have today. My biggest piece of advice is to just ride the wave and relish in the good moments because you don’t get these years back. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I feel like 20s should be the decade of finding yourself, and not the decade of getting your life on track (not that that’s not a problem if you have!). And it’s so difficult right now to feel like life has direction, but fingers crossed things start to look up soon!

    Katie | katieemmabeauty.com

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Brews and Babbles is such an amazing idea. This post was interesting and helpful. I turned 20 last year and I definitely relate to the person who sent you the message about feeling lost and insecure, so I’m happy you wrote about itthis. The pressure that is placed on us so early in life is not fair at all. I feel like it isn’t even realistic to have your whole life figured out in your early twenties when we still have so many years ahead of us. Social media most likely is the cause of this, which is why we have to mindfully use social media and keep in mind that what we see isn’t always reality. I can’t wait for your next Brews and Babbles post! Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great post Brittany! You are so right about everyone’s path being different. No one path is better or more successful. Just different. There’s no timetable to getting where you want to go. I am really enjoying this series of yours! I hope you keep it going 😊❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nice, meaningful post! When I was in my twenties my hairstylist said your twenties are hard, because it is the years you find out who you are. Your thirties you have a better sense of yourself and you move forward. I found that to be true. I also found my forties to be a new year of self discovery, for me through motherhood. I reinvented myself in my fifties, changing careers and opening new doors. I look forward to my sixties and beyond as I plan to downsize and travel. My friends in their seventies are extremely active and still working. I just read an article about a woman who loved till 122, she was still active at age 114. So to all you beautiful twenty-somethings, hang in there. There is so much more coming for you. Life is filled with adventure and change, some of it heart breaking, some of it life changing and all of it yours to experience. That’s what it’s about, the experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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